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Jobber To The Stars

by Jake Palumbo

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Survey Says 03:48
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Buff Bagwell 04:02
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Cheapness 01:50
15.
[VERSE 1] I got a message from a nerdy, silent girl For I.D. purpose, call her "Ms. Long Island" 19, art student, naughty hipster In a Volkswagen Rabbit with her friend's older sister Answered my Craigslist ad for a mistress Photography chick, so she fixed on her pictures Probably don't know I get a "fix" off her pictures I know if I can meet her in the flesh, then it's over She live a little ways away from my rest stop And oh yeah, I'm still trying to shake my ex off Send a request cause you're profile's private If you don't write me back I can still see you smiling... I get a daily briefing like the Bush's And thanks to Facebook, no more hiding in the bushes This is the start of a real bad disaster Fire up your MySpace & proceed to master....... Uhhh, you know the rest.... [CHORUS] Girl, you're playing hard-to-get You'd be mine if we ever met And every time your status sets My screen gets caked with gook I'm Stalking You On Facebook I'm Stalking You On Facebook I'm Stalking You On Facebook I'm Stalking You On Facebook Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah... [VERSE 2] It's so sexy when you reject me The internet love me when the females neglect me I wanna Tweet you, but I never follow through You ain't following me, but I'm sure following YOU Twitter me this miss, and riddle me that Pitifully I've memorized your personal stats It's the little condescending words that burn me the worst I'm nervous even though you really hit me up first, girl I'm writing, but you're not biting How you not recognize a Tennessee Titan? So what you're on my smartphone media card? Is that as bad as me maybe needing keys to your car? You should have thought before you unlocked the key to my heart But you're only into art-f** media snobs :( I was gonna take you out, I was even gonna pay for shit But now MySpace say you're "In A Relationship????" FUCK!!! BITCH!!!! [CHORUS} [VERSE 3] It's weird the more I get to know you, the more I abhor you The more it makes it clear that I really don't know you I wanna dial you up but I got nothing to say But "Remember me? We never met, back in the day." I just wanna hear your voice.....is that weird? FUCK, I hit the "Send" key when I was looking at your contact Hang up & hope it don't connect for the callback Oh shit - you must have dialed *69 If I don't have the guts to answer the number The name on my voice mail will surely blow the cover I should have known better than to put you in my 'Berry With a picture of you on board the Staten Island Ferry I keep thinking "Jake man, you're thinking too much" My roommate's like "Jake man, you're drinking too much" But I can't go to bed till I least log on And see if I can live up to the name of this song [CHORUS] [OUTRO] Many chicks have caught my eye You're the one that blows my mind I poke you all the time, & it's my heart you took If I had my wish come true I'd be laying next to you Fantasizing about your pics, you tagged me now I'm hooked I'm Stalking You On Facebook I'm Stalking You On Facebook I'm Stalking You On Facebook I Am Stalking You On Facebook
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about

Jake Palumbo's long-awaited 3rd LP!!!

credits

released September 20, 2011

PRODUCED BY JAKE PALUMBO
All songs © 2009-2011, SpaceLAB Recordings
℗ Palumbo’s Escrow (ASCAP)
Recorded & Mixed at Play Studios, NYC (R.I.P.) in 2010 by Jake Palumbo
Mastered at SpaceLAB Recording Studios, New York, NY 2011 by Dale Nixon & Jake Palumbo

SPC 012

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